Dear Family,
I hope this letter finds you well, and you are all staying safe. Times are uncertain right now, but I wanted to brighten your day with some good news. As Mom’s holiday letter alluded to, I have someone special in my life, and just shortly after Valentine’s Day, he proposed! Please enjoy reading about our adventures this past year in our letter.
Matt and I have been dating for a little over a year now, but we figured out very early we were perfectly suited to each other. We are both very focused and project orientated people, and we both love terrible puns (a legacy of my paternal grandfather’s that I continue). We both love swimming, and he has been teaching me to scuba dive, which oddly enough showed up on my radar of things to learn about a full six months before I met him. He is always game for whatever silly thing I want us to dress up for (as you’ll see in the photos), and confidently rocks them all. We both have the same outlook on money and are both working very hard to get out from under debt. We’ve been following the Dave Ramsey plan nearly since we started dating (my influence), and have each paid off $15k in debt since. He had credit card debt and still has a car loan, and I still have a million student loans. We are on track to be debt free in 2022. 🙂
Matt is a security technician, and we met when his company was contracted to install additional security at my work place. Some of his tasks required him to install things in the room that I spent most of my time making samples in, so being naturally curious, I struck up a conversation. He was up on the ceiling installing a motion sensor and I was on the floor measuring a giant box. I spent the next few weeks hoping I’d see him again as I had a pretty big crush on him by then. His job sent him to a number of different places, all around Illinois, so I never knew when he’d pop back up again. As soon as he did though, I pretty quickly gave him my number and we started texting for most of January and February. I continued to be the bold one as he just WASN’T taking any hints, and asked him out for lunch one Friday. Later he explained that while he was feeling similar feelings, he was focused on being professional and ‘not hitting on the client’, so didn’t feel comfortable making the first move.
After our lunch date went well, we planned an evening date: dinner and a movie. We saw Aquaman, and bonded over how groan-worthy the movie was, and then went out for burgers. Afterwards, it still wasn’t terribly late yet, and since neither of us were ready to call it a night, I suggested karaoke at a bar near my house. To my surprise, he was game, and even put in a song, and was pretty good! Turns out, that’s the only song he can do at karaoke, but it’s good to have one for just such circumstances. We spent the rest of the evening snuggled up together, and the couple next to us was surprised to find out this was our first date; they said we looked like an old married couple since we were so at ease with each other. (Very little PDA for those concerned, we hadn’t even had our first kiss yet.)
Our second date was another huge test. It was February, and Valentine’s Day was just around the corner. Early February is a terrible time to start dating someone, because of Valentine’s Day. You are expected to go all out on a fancy dinner date, but you hardly know this person and it feels awkward because what if dinner goes poorly and you find during the conversation that you have some serious differences with the person? Thanks for spending over $100 for the night; I never want to see you again? Talk about pressure!! To avoid this entire fiasco, Matt’s genius plan was to invite himself over to my apartment and cook dinner for me. As I hadn’t cleaned my apartment since, uh, ever, I immediately shut that down and made him come up with a new plan with less than two hours to go, on Valentine’s Day. Thankfully, it all went well. Matt managed to reserve a table at a semi-fancy local restaurant and dinner went smoothly. Shortly after our Valentine’s date, we decided we were a thing and that was that.
The next huge test for a young relationship came at the end of April: his brother was getting married! I felt very out of place at being so quickly absorbed into the family. I was included in all the family wedding photos and I hardly knew anyone! Everyone from the groom’s side sought me out and was very welcoming to me and treated me as though we had been dating for much longer, and invited me to their Christmas parties later that year. I got the feeling that the general consensus among the family was “it’s about time Matt found himself a nice girl”. The evening was very fun, Matt drank too much and I danced too much, as one does.
In June, Mom and Dad came up to visit me and to meet Matt. As our family loves projects, I came up with the project of building a tool storage unit for Matt’s car while they were here. Dad had built one years ago for his own truck, and Matt desperately needed some sort of organizational plan for his car with all the tools he carries as a tech. The project went well and Dad and Matt had a good time getting to know each other through their skills. Mom and I had a bit of time to ourselves upstairs and that was nice too. The end of our visit was a bit rushed, but afterwards Dad sent an email expressing his opinion of Matt, and while short, it’s a note I’ll forever cherish. “I found him to be an impressive young man with many fine qualities that I admire. I wish you and he the best as you each decide if traveling the road called life together is a good idea.” Dad is not the most expressive, and he is always very ‘black and white’ so to earn a full-fledged stamp of approval from him was huge.
Later in September, Matt and I took a trip down to Bedford to visit Mom and Dad and help stage their house for photos. Originally the plan was to actually TAKE pictures that day, but there quickly proved to be too much furniture moving and decoration placement to happen before we’d be ready for photos, and Matt and I simply didn’t have enough time. Also during our trip, Matt drove a tractor for the first time. Dad took Matt out and I don’t know what they did, drive around the property line or something? Mom and I continued with the light staging, finding books and plants and duck knick-knacks and what-have-yous. Apparently, sometime during their property tour, Dad and Matt happened upon the rotting carcass of a deer. Matt made the mistake of mentioning that the skull with antlers was cool. More on that later. The last reason for our trip was a somber and bit morbid one. I hated the thought of leaving our dearly loved (yet dead) cat, Boots, in Indiana when the family was leaving there for the last time. We had a small grave side memorial while we carefully dug up the dead cat’s coffin. I figured if Matt could roll with the weirdest things my family does, we’d be fine. I couldn’t think of anything more weird and gross than digging up a dead cat we buried six years earlier, and yet Matt was helpful and respectful though the whole event. (Cat skulls look weird too, and the only thing left of her was bones, a bit of fur, and the stomach cancer tumor that killed her. Her wooden box had fallen in and was rotten through, but the blanket we had laid her on was still in good shape.) Her remains were carefully transferred to a plastic bin, to be interred again somewhere near family in Minnesota after Mom and Dad are settled.
The next major milestone was Thanksgiving. We had decided earlier that fall that we’d do Thanksgiving with my family, and Christmas with his. Since my family is a bit of a drive, we couldn’t do both families for both holidays. Somehow, much to my chagrin, we still ended up at his Mom’s sister’s Thanksgiving Party. Everyone remembered me from the wedding, but I couldn’t recognize any of them; that’s always a fun situation. His family has a tradition of playing Bingo with prizes, and of the thirty some odd people there, I managed to come in dead last with Bingo, and we didn’t even clear the board when a winner was called. I manage to fill every possibly square on my board that wouldn’t result in a win. Talent, I tell you.
The next morning we drove down to Indy for Myra’s Thanksgiving. Having just come from a giant family and a full house party to a much smaller event, where the first thing our family does when we get together is get to work (Augst farmer legacy), I felt a bit embarrassed and inadequate. Matt assured me this was not his take on events, and then headed upstairs with Dad to install Myra’s new shower door. At the end of the weekend, we did a small gift exchange and wouldn’t you know it, Mom had just the best weird gift ready for Matt. Remember that dead deer? Yeah, Mom kept checking on it for another week or two till it had finished rotting away, then yanked the skull away from the rest of it and put it in a box for him. Merry Christmas, Rudolph’s dead.
Christmas with the Rices proved to be a multi-day multi-family affair. His family all lives close, so a day or so before Christmas we were off to see his mom’s family, then Christmas Eve we visited his dad’s family, and on Christmas day, we did Christmas with his siblings at his parents’ house. I was shocked and touched that his siblings got me a present, and so did his parents. Having been to many a boyfriend’s family Christmas, I was not expecting any presents, nor really to be included. Christmas has always been a bit of a stressful and trying holiday for me, ever since my Grandmom passed, but this one at their house was the first one since then that I actually felt like the holiday was special again.
The next event of note was our One Year anniversary. We decided to count from that Aquaman/Karaoke date since Valentines was a bit cliché and there wasn’t anything special about when we realized we were an item. For our One Year, I told Matt that I was going to let him plan it entirely, as well as our Valentines Date, which was barely a week later. Usually I’ve got things planned so fast and he just goes with it, but I had been more than hinting at a proposal for a bit now, and I wanted him to have the opportunity to ask me however he wanted to.
Unfortunately, the evening did not start well, and it went downhill from there. Thanks to Matt’s fabulous cooking and all the wonderful holiday parties we recently attended, I had gained a few pounds and COULD NOT fit into ANY of my nice pretty dresses. In frustrated angry tears, I pulled on my favorite grey boring sweater dress, and made a mental note to go dress shopping before Valentine’s Day. Matt was dressed to the nines and looked amazing. On the drive to the restaurant, I made the mistake of saying that I hoped we weren’t going to the place we went last year; I was excited that we were going someplace nice so I was hoping for a new adventure. Apparently repeating our first date was exactly his plan, and he paused a minute before admitting it, trying to mentally scramble for a backup plan and being unsuccessful. We arrived at the restaurant, but there was no place to park. Seeing a valet, he went for it and we walked inside. It was packed. Apparently, the weekend before Valentine’s Day is the local Sadie Hawkins / Turnabout dance, so not only was the place filled, but it was filled with gorgeous teen girls in fabulous prom dresses looking Red Carpet ready. I about died of embarrassment feeling fat and ugly in my frumpy grey sweater dress. We waited 45 minutes past our reservation time just standing there near all those fancy pretty girls with their gorgeous done-up hair and makeup. I was trying not to show my discomfort, but Matt is excellent at reading my body language and he knew I wasn’t ok.
Finally, we were seated. As chance would have it, we were seated at the exact same table we had the previous year, which also thankfully, was in the back in their little annex patio and away from all the prom girls. It was also quiet enough that we could actually talk. Matt told me that he had budgeted well for this evening and that in addition to dinner we will be getting drinks and appetizers AND dessert. This is extravagant by my standards, so that helped bring my mood back up. Just after we put in our drinks order, our waitress came back to apologize and asked if it’s ok to move us to the table next to the kitchen door as they need our table for a larger party. Fine, cool, our drinks got comped for the inconvenience. We moved and got resettled and ordered a salad and a tomato mozzarella dish. We saw the large group come in and there are fewer people than expected, and our old table goes unused. About 10 mins later, another couple, dressed in ripped jean and band t-shirts, was seated at our special table.
Our appetizers arrived and we were enjoying both until I bit into something hard and grainy. It seemed like it should be the sea salt on the mozzarella, but it wouldn’t dissolve, and soft crunching did nothing to it. I spit it out and it looked all the world like a bit of glass. I showed it to Matt, and then to our waiter, who was mortified and brought out the manager asap. The manager assured us that it was not glass and only salt, and he would have the dish remade without the salt. Our waiter then took our dinner order quickly to help get us back on track and the new mozzarella dish came out. Not as tasty without salt, but whatever. Then our main course arrived and I instantly realized my mistake. In all the kerfuffle with the glass/salt, I’d forgotten to ask them to substitute the marinara sauce with Alfredo. I apologized profusely and our poor waitress quickly ran away with it to be remade. I felt guilty for being such a hassle but at this point I had given up and decided to roll with this Comedy of Errors of a night. Matt is inwardly freaking out because of the horrible night I’m having, and continuously revising his proposal plan. Dessert came and was uneventful, then the check. We tipped well and left a note so the waitress understood we found the night funny and weren’t blaming her.
We left and went to the valet station to pick up the car. That’s when we noticed it is CASH ONLY and the valet isn’t actually affiliated with the restaurant. I went back inside and asked the hostess if we can get some cash as I’m sure our check hadn’t been closed out yet. She went to ask the manager, but as he had no idea it was us at that one trouble-making table, he just said no. Matt learned from the valet boys that there is an ATM in a bar just down the street. He left me there ‘as collateral’ (also because there was snow on the ground and my thin little tights were doing nothing against the wind and the valet stand was enclosed and heated.) He went across the street to the bar, and headed to the back to discover that the ATM is out of order. He then headed across the street to a Barnes and Nobel to get cash back while buying something but learned they don’t do cash back so he left and pulled up Google Maps to locate an ATM. Google told him that there is an ATM two blocks back the way he had come, opposite the restaurant. He got to the Walgreen and got the cash out, paying high ATM fees, and headed back. After what seemed like an eternity, Matt returned and we got the car, and at that moment Matt remembered that he usually keeps a bit of cash in the car for just these sorts of circumstance. Annoyed with everything and just done, we headed home. Apparently Matt had further plans for us to go and walk around either the downtown area or at least a walk out on the walking path near our apartment, but it was very cold and Matt wasn’t feeling well, so he laid down for just a bit. I let him sleep, and when he woke around 1 am and realized everything was messed up, he just went back to bed officially.
Determined not to let Valentine’s Day turn out like our one year anniversary, both Matt and I did a bit more prep work. We went dress shopping together and I found a cute prom dress on clearance that needed alterations (cuz madly sewing up to the last minute is a thing my family does). I also knew where we were going this time, and we looked at the menu ahead of time and even picked out our meals. We had a coupon for the restaurant and as we were getting in the car I asked Matt if he had it, he did not, so he ran back upstairs and grabbed it. With a bit of a false start, we were back on track.
Once at the restaurant things went more smoothly. We were seated in a quiet corner and I, always the difficult one, picked the inaccessible corner seat (it is usually the quietest and I can hear the conversation better). The restaurant was so dark, they used back lit LED menus, which we both thought were cool. We enjoyed the meal but the entire time he was quieter than normal. Before dessert arrived, he got up, deftly spun the table away from me, and got down on one knee. While not unexpected, I was crying because at this point I had pretty much given up hope of a proposal. Matt had originally planned on proposing during the night walk we didn’t go on, so he had bought a lighted ring box on Amazon. I had no idea those things existed, and it was perfect, because without it, I wouldn’t have been able to see the ring at all. He told me it is Alexandrite and it is purple. After Matt sat back down I could hear the staff at the bar whispering excitedly that an engagement just happened, the couple at the back corner! Shortly after, the manager arrived with a tiny bottle of champagne for us. Desert arrived and we shared it. On our way out, the manager handed me a long stem rose. With a shiny ring on my finger, and unable to stop smiling, nor stop the happy tears, we headed home.
As is traditionally customary, I wanted to tell my parents first, but I also wanted to tell them in person. This presented a bit of a problem, but not too much. I had a trip to Ohio planned for the end of February, and since I was mostly certain I would be engaged by then, I had individually made plans with both of my best friends and my mom, to all meet me in Dayton without telling them why or that we were meeting the others. We were all running a bit late, but eventually we met up at the Panera and I quickly spilled the beans that I was engaged, and told them we had a dress appointment in 10 minutes. I don’t get back to Ohio often and hadn’t seen either of my best friends in over a year, so I wanted to make the best use of the time. We had a good afternoon trying on dresses for the wedding. After the appointment was over, Mom drove me back to the airport, and on the phone we told Dad. Dad was much more excited than Mom was. She was pretty much under the assumption that we were already engaged and had been since June when they visited, whereas Dad gave me the congratulations I was looking for. Wasn’t expecting that flip-flopped reaction!
The next question everyone asks is do you have a date yet. Well, we think we do, but who knows what’s happening now with Covid. We are hoping we will be able to celebrate with you all on Friday June 25 of 2021, but nothing is certain right now. This is not an official Save the Date, but a placeholder. For now though, I would love it if you would join us for a virtual engagement party via Zoom on Sunday May 24 at 2pm CST. I am looking forward to introducing you all to Matt as he has already had the opportunity to introduce me to his family. Should you wish to send a card, we will be opening and reading them live on the video call. At 3pm we will be welcoming our friends onto the call, but from 2 to 3 it will just be my extended family. You are welcome to stay as long or as short as you’d like.
I look forward to seeing you all soon, and please stay safe.
Love,
April Faye and Matt